The Choices ’WE’ Make......

“CHOICE” - sounds like a very mundane and naive word, doesn’t it? But it is this very word, which when put into action shapes up your life. If we take a closer look, it is the various choices we have made in the past that defines our present. Of course, the choices of the initial stages on our behalf were made by our parents, ranging from...what we should wear, what we should eat, where we should go, what we should learn.....to which school we should go to and so on and so forth. As we move on in life, the onus of making our own choices, taking decisions for ourselves, falls upon us......which is how I feel it should be. The reason being, that after we attain a certain age we should be mature and intelligent enough to be culpable for our own lives.

However, it is often seen that even in the later stages of life, sometimes the choices for us are left to our parents to make, be it choosing a suitable life partner for us, or for that matter, choosing a career for us. I totally agree to the fact that this is absolutely a matter of personal choice, while some people might feel that there can be no one better than their parents to decide the course of their lives, the other lot might feel that they are the ones who should decide and be responsible for whatever their future holds. I for one, belong to the second lot of people.....although it is equally true that I haven’t been able to hold on to this belief of mine at all times in life.

Keeping my own life in view, I would like to focus on the two most important decisions in any person’s life, first, a career and second, a life partner.

I have often heard and read that it is best if you take up what interests you as your profession. For in that case, work ceases to be an additional burden that you are forced to carry for life. Today people are often heard of using terms like ‘zero job satisfaction’. That happens when a job is just a piece of task which must be completed to receive a pay cheque at the end of the month....something that has become so very important for survival in today’s world. Today, people are judged not by who they are, but what they do.........to be more specific, by the brand name which they proudly carry around in person in the form of an ID card, and the figure credited to their bank accounts on the last day of every month. Anything for the 5 figure salary and compromises become the more dignified, diplomacy. Such is the rat race, that one who doesn’t match up to the rest.....could be the ones who care more for what they learn, or the ones who believe in getting the much talked about “job satisfaction”, or the ones who believe in sticking to their beliefs.....are termed as failures in life.

As I was saying earlier, when interest becomes your profession, work becomes fun. Talking about my own interest........well for most people who know me and have been with me, it wouldn’t be hard for them to notice and state how much of an interest I have in anything to do with animals. There was a time in school, when me and one of my closest buddies to this day, Monalisa, who was equally passionate about animals, would go on about our plans to someday do some work that would deal with animals. Maneka Gandhi was our idol; we would watch her programme “Heads and Tails” on tv, and talk about how things should change in India from what it is to much better facilities and arrangements when it comes to animals. We were termed crazy by many, as her house was home to almost 14 cats at one time, while mine was home to a dog, two fishes, a rooster, a hen, two parrots and 11 cats!!! We were almost sure that one day we would come up with an entity that could match the standards of what is found in developed countries.

It was in this very mode of thought that I had expressed my desire to take up a career in the field of veterinary sciences.......What? Have you gone nuts!!!!!That was the reaction I received. I was told that this wasn’t a field that would take me anywhere in life. Moreover, having secured a rank at the state level in the board exams in Class 10, how could I even think of something so much beyond normal levels of comprehension. So, that was the end of the “veterinary scientific” story. My mother wanted me to be a doctor, one who deals with humans, of course J....however my strong opposition to dissection, which was an important part of Biology, helped me to opt out of that option. Going by the flow, the only other option in those days, Engineering - the choice in this case completely made by my parents and much to my surprise I seemed to be totally in sync with their views. So, that brings me to where I am today, a Software Engineer by profession who is part of the mad rat race that the rest of the world is involved in.

So, as far as a career is concerned, the decision here was for the most part of it guided by the choices that my parents made for me. I wouldn’t say that I have any major regrets regarding the same, but yes, at times I do wonder what it would have felt like to be doing something that was of greater interest to me.

Moving on to the second aspect, choosing a life partner........well this is a decision, that as per my beliefs, was totally my own. Let’s not delve into the complications associated with the same. I would instead like to talk about the reason behind doing so. During my life, I have come across numerous examples where parents have chosen the best life partners as per their judgement and experience for their darling daughters and beloved sons. While there have been cases that the alliances so formed have been phenomenally successful, there have also been instances that the relationships thus evolving have been a total misfit. It is in these negative occurrences that I have seen the blame game go berserk. Since, it is the parents who had made the decision, the whole world and sadly enough, even the kids start blaming the parents for the failure of the relationship. Not that, a love marriage is the recipe for a guaranteed success story. There have been myriads of wreckages in this scenario as well. But, I still believe that it is better to seemingly know and understand a person, and take a plunge into the unknown, and be responsible for the outcome of the same, than to end up holding somebody else responsible for the worse, if it turns out to be so.

Whether my decision was an infallible and befitting one........is yet to be seen...results to be declared in about a few decades from today............. J