They say, "Do good and good will come to
you".
When I was young, I remember being a very stingy kid.....not
the kind who would like to share her toys, her chocolates or anything else with
others. I remember bundling up all my toys and other prized possessions into an
old blue saree of my mother's and carrying that bundle around the whole house
to make sure no one would lay a hand on any of my treasures 😊. My uncle often added to
the fun by sneaking in one of those heavy irons that existed in those days into
the bundle and then everyone would watch and enjoy how I struggled with all my
might to carry my wealth around 😄😄.
Leaving aside the fun, my mother did her due of the parental
duties by teaching me the importance of the virtues of sharing and benevolence,
the importance of giving and sacrificing. And I guess I took to those teachings
quite well. As I grew up, giving and sacrificing became something that came
very naturally to me, and may I add that it was many a times, at the expense of
hurt, and deep loss to myself. But I never stepped back, because I sincerely
believed in the value of the virtue.
As an animal lover, charity in the field of animal
welfare by supporting NGOs financially was a natural progression. So was my
tendency to be generous to humans who in my view were in any way less fortunate
than I was by way of alms, donations and the like. I remember a journey by
train all the way from Guwahati to the then, Bombay when I was in the sixth
standard. A journey which took about three days. It was a trip during
which we also survived a train accident 😏. But let me keep that
story in store for some other day. So moving on, as was the ritual, my father
would frequently pick up various kinds of food items from the vendors who
boarded the train as well as from the stations at which the train halted.
Amongst the pack of eatables was an always available bunch of bananas,
something I loved eating. I sat at one of the window seats with the bunch and
kept handing over one or more of the bananas to every person who raised a needy
hand towards my window. If you have ever been on a train journey in this
country, I am sure you know, that there is no dearth of people living in want
of the basics and a railway station is a site familiar to a large number of
such people. A while later, a co - passenger, who had sort of become an
acquaintance to the family owing to the duration of the journey, pointed out to
my father in a very amused tone - "Your daughter hasn't eaten a single
banana out of the entire stock that you had bought, and there hasn't been one
hand that has left the window empty as long as she had any bananas to
spare". My father smiled, and the person asked me, "Weren't you
hungry? Your father had bought those for you. Why didn't you spare some for
yourself before helping the others?".....and I just responded by saying
"I don't know, I just felt like it". Come to think of it, it probably
wasn't a case that I would be left cringing with hunger because I didn't spare
any for myself, but the point is, I failed to even think that what if, this was
my only source of food. Should I then have considered sparing some for myself
before switching on my "be kind and generous" button? But the thought
never even occurred to me.
It is this trait that sometimes led to me being reprimanded
for going overboard with my generosity, because in the course of being an
empath, I, at times, possibly ended up encouraging fake people feigning need. A
habit which I have now tried to control based on the judgement of whether it is a
genuine situation.
But the basic trait remained ingrained. However, as I walked
further through the journey of life, my belief of good finding its way
back to those who did good, slowly faltered, till the time that it has now reached a point where I feel that sacrifice often goes disrespected in today's
world. You give up for love, you give up to be kind, you give up to make others
happy, but you are rewarded with loss and hurt in return. And if that is not
enough, if acknowledgement and respect is the least you could hope for in
response, those who you sacrifice for, turn out to be disgracious enough to
turn the tables on you and claim that you are being demanding. Of course, a
sacrifice is made with no expectation in return, but the least one can do is to
value and uphold the sacrifice. But the world of today runs on different
values. Something that I fail to comprehend and therefore end up being hurt,
deeply!
And if I may add here, such blasphemy comes more often than
not from people who you would consider your own. A speechless animal, or a
completely unknown beneficiary will express their gratitude or gratefulness in
their own unique way, even if with a simple sign of a blessing. But when it
comes to people who hold important positions in your life, do not be surprised
if you end up receiving a response which indicates that your efforts have been
completely ignored by them or if situations have been coloured to instead make
it look like you have wronged people.
Does this mean that the value of an act of virtue is
diminished by the "favour" of being bound by a relationship? Or else
how does one explain why, a sacrifice deemed priceless by a complete stranger,
becomes something that can be ignored or even considered a mistake on your part
when it comes to your loved ones?
In the world of today, is the honor and worth of a virtue being weighed down by the implicit mandatory expectations imposed in the name
of relations?
